


A flower, shining, falling apart, and then...

by Yayate



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yayate/pseuds/Yayate
Summary: Don't you sometimes just... want to give up and run away?A short one-shot based on a random idea. Focused on Edelgard/Byleth. I don't want to mention too much more, but I hope you can enjoy it!Contains spoilers up to the very start of FE3H's timeskip. I dunno how to tag this! Storywise is not related to the other fics.





	A flower, shining, falling apart, and then...

What is the value of a human life?

Could you estimate its worth in gold? Its worth in land? Maybe you could estimate its worth in time?

Byleth’s work as a mercenary had twisted her view of human life. 

So what is the value of a human life?

It depended on who was paying her. Sometimes, defending someone from tens of soldiers was worth nothing other than a few meals. Sometimes, when she had to end the life of some high-value target, her reward could be all-too-much higher. Was the life of a warrior worth that little? Or were they worth nothing, and the money was supposed to represent the value of a real human being, the one that needed protection? But above all, protecting or assaulting nobility rewarded her with so much more. Were nobles really worth that much? Did a single noble really have the worth of a thousand commoners? Or a million soldiers?

It was weird.

It wasn’t really something Byleth had cared to think about. She grew up with just her loving father and the being that shared her body. Sothis would never leave her, even if she could. And her father… was it even possible to take him down? If she had the strength of ten men, her father was comparable to entire armies. He was the epitome of strength. And as there was no one stronger, no one could take his life.

And her own life?

Sothis had blessed her with a wonderful gift. Even if something were to kill her, she’d be able to try again and again until she emerged as the victor.

If nothing you hold dear could ever be lost, how could she possibly come to understand the value of human life?

...Edelgard.

As strong as she was, she wasn’t invincible. A single swipe of a sword could very well kill her and end her life. As strong as she was, she could die as easily as the countless people Byleth had slain. Sure, she could just try again, but…

Even the thorns in Edelgard’s side had grown to upset Byleth. Any drawn blood was nauseating. Any wound was horrifying. Even if her abilites allowed her to ensure that Edelgard would never perish, she… Byleth would still have to see it. The horrible expression on Edelgard’s face, whenever she hurt. Those painful screeches, whenever she fell. The smell of her blood, whenever she was struck.

Edelgard, Edelgard, Edelgard…

On their first mission, Byleth saw her classmates faint. Vomit. Scream. Horrified at any action they had taken, to take another person’s life. Even Edelgard seemed just the slightest bit moved. The only ones that didn’t show pain were Hubert and Byleth herself.

...honestly, she hadn’t even noticed their hesitation. Only as they talked about their feelings, over the course of the next classes, did Byleth realize the feelings she had struck upon her students. Their pain was the first step Byleth took towards understanding the value of human life. Or rather, the pain of taking someone else’s. 

...As time passed on, Byleth only became more disgusted by an act she had thoughtlessly done for her entire life.

Those feelings she felt whenever Edelgard was injured-

Would those on the other side feel them, too?

Did they have an ‘Edelgard’ of their own? Were they someone else’s ‘Edelgard’?

Stupid. So stupid. So horribly stupid…

Byleth wasn’t emotionless. Not at all. Even if some saw her as some sort of emotionless tool or automaton. The only part of her face that moved were her lips. At most, she seemed like a person that was hopelessly trying to imitate the complexities of a human expressing emotions.

...they could’ve just not, told her, you know… if they didn’t, she wouldn’t have to constantly worry about these kinds of things.

Being compared to a demonic beast with no emotions, with no heart of her own… it really hurt.

She was the ‘Ashen Demon’, an emotionless monster that could take hundreds of lives without any sort of hesitation. The only potential expression they said could ever perceivably be drawn upon her face was a soulless, cold smile.

...that really hurt, you know…

Even if she had so many troubles expressing her emotions, she still had a very human heart. She could be happy when doing things with her father. She could be sad when alone without any company.

...but they couldn’t see that. So her emotions must not exist.

When her father died, she couldn’t talk for a month. She couldn’t stop crying. How often had she honestly cried? The only other tears she had ever shed were intended for Edelgard, and even then, she managed to pull herself together. But as her father passed…

She just couldn’t stop crying.

Even as she laid in Edelgard’s arms, she just couldn’t stop crying. Even as they laid in bed, Byleth could be overwhelmed and torn by her emotions, and just… not stop crying.

...losing her father hurt.

Even thinking of losing Edelgard hurt.

...how… was she supposed to take lives? Even as she fought to protect her students, she couldn’t stop an awfully painful sensation from charring at her throat.

And then, Sothis left her, too. The only trace of her closest friend had faded into nothing but the new colour of her hair. The only remnant of the being she had shared her body with, for her entire life. A company she had always had, so she would never have to feel truly alone.

In the span of no more than two months, Byleth had lost her entire family.

She didn’t want to lose the one person she loved, too.

January.

...February.

Edelgard asked Byleth to join her in something very important, important enough to warrant an immediate journey worth several days. Of course, Byleth came along. How could she say n no? She loved Edelgard. She wanted to spend more time with Edelgard. She’d honestly feel lost, without Edelgard.

And

What if something happened?

If something horrible happened, Byleth wouldn’t be there to protect her.

...something horrible did happen.

But not something Byleth could protect her from. She was coronated and sworn in as the new Emperor of the empire. In an instant, Byleth’s wonderful princess had become an unyielding ruler.

It hurt.

Hearing it, it really hurt.

They weren’t going to be able to spend as much time together. What little time they had would no-doubt be judged. But, but. But.

Byleth could something far worse burn within her stomach.

This meant-

It meant…

If Edelgard claimed the throne…

You idiot, you promised you’d marry me, in those peaceful days after we graduate…

No

It couldn’t.

It wouldn’t. It shouldn’t. It can’t. It can’t. It can’t. It can’t. It can’t. It can’t it can’t it can’t it can’t it can’t-

...Those peaceful days were never going to come, were they…?

Byleth and Edelgard laid side-by-side, as they fell asleep together after the long coronation ceremony. Well, ‘asleep.’ Edelgard had instantly fallen asleep. As soon as her head touched her pillow, she instantly passed out.

But, Byleth...?

How was she supposed to sleep? Surely, several hours had already come to past. But she laid there. Unmoving. Blankly staring at the ceiling above. She couldn’t cry, she couldn’t scream, she could barely breathe.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no nononononononono

NO

None of this had to happen. None of it! There was no reason for Edelgard to become Emperor! There was no reason for either of them to fight, ever! There was no reason for them to draw any danger upon themselves, ever! There was no reason! For them! To do anything! But live together! Happily! Happily! Happily!

Byleth just wanted to be happy, forever, with her wonderful crimson flower…

I’m sorry, Edelgard. I promised you I would always stay at your side. I promised you I would always support you, but- I can’t. I just can’t.

Byleth silently drew herself out of bed. She… wasn’t going to leave Edelgard. She would never.

...so maybe.

Edelgard could leave the Empire?

...they could just… run away. Run away, to somewhere safe. To somewhere far, far away. To somewhere were they could just be happy, forever, without having to worry about the chaotic world around them…

Edelgard meant so much to her. Edelgard’s life meant so much to her. Edelgard’s normal, peaceful life meant so much to her...

Byleth didn’t want to fight anymore.

And really, they didn’t have to! They never had to! The only reasons Byleth had to fight was because her father had forced her into servitude of the Knights of Seiros! Because she wanted to find out more about Sothis past! Because she wanted to spend more time with Edelgard! With two of three reasons taken away, Byleth no longer had any pressing reasons to stay at Garreg Mach. Because she could just leave. With her beloved Edelgard. And run. And run. And run. And run! 

...Fighting was the one thing she knew how to do. It was like drawing blood was her purpose in life. But it didn’t have to be. It didn’t have to be, not anymore…

They could just run away.

Somewhere far away.

To a place that didn’t have to run crimson with blood.

...Byleth was a mercenary, that had killed countless of thousands.

But the only red she ever wanted to see again was in the garments her beloved bore.

“Edelgard? Edelgard. Wake up.”

Byleth firmly put her hands to Edelgard’s shoulders as she started shaking her awake.

“We have to… get out of here.”

“...Byleth?”

This

This felt awful.

Whenever she just woke up, Edelgard could be just the tiniest bit disorientated. And that was probably the only time, she could ever convince her to run away.

“We need to… we need to…”

Those words seemed to shock Edelgard wide awake. She hopped up and quickly grabbed her axe. In one swift movement, she grabbed her back and shuffled into her shoes. Within a matter of seconds, Edelgard was ready to leave. Her movements were obviously practiced. As if she had been trained to be ready in case of this sort of emergency.

“You’ve gone completely pale. What’s… going on?”

Even her voice was dazed. 

“It’s… can’t explain, yet. Please trust me.”

Byleth hated lying. Byleth hating lying to her girlfriend. But, if she didn’t, they would… she would…

Byleth grabbed onto Edelgard’s wrist, and just started running. Running. Running. Out of the castle. Out of the city. Just following a road. Deep into a dense forest. Abandoning the road, and just running further and further and further. The further she got, the safer they were. The more lost they got, the safer she was.

...How long had they been running?

Byleth didn’t want to think about it. She was just going to keep running, until their bodies gave in. Or, at least, until Edelgard finally grew suspicious and yanked her arm out of Byleth’s grip.

“There’s more than enough distance between us and the castle. Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

That was… definitely, Edelgard’s angry tone. Byleth would be, too, if she had been in this same situation. Anyone would be, right? Even her body had grown upset. The body that she had honed for as long as she could possibly remember. Her legs were screaming at her to stop. Her throat was crying for hydration. Her lungs were begging for air. But her stillborn heart was begging her to keep going. And going. And going. Byleth grasped right back at Edelgard’s arm. But as she tried pulling at her again, Edelgard refused to budge.

Right, Edelgard was, physically speaking, a lot stronger than her.

Their positions were swapped in an instant. Edelgard effortlessly grabbed right back at Byleth’s arm. She pulled her in. And just, held her.

This wasn’t the time for this, Edelgard…! Byleth struggled as hard as she possibly could, but it only lead to Edelgard locking Byleth’s other arm just as tightly.

This was it.

...maybe, just maybe.

If she’s honest and upfront, Edelgard could understand? Edelgard… always understood her. Edelgard would always listen to her. Edelgard would always trust her.

And Edelgard would never lie to her.

But Byleth couldn’t get it past her lips. She couldn’t say /that/. She couldn’t deny the future Edelgard had always told her about. She can’t just… tell Edelgard, to go against her ideals. She couldn’t just make her give up her ideals. 

Edelgard was… stronger than that.

But surely, if Byleth explained it, she’d understand. Because she always did… because that’s what love meant, right? That was what their love meant?

“I’m sorry.”

But the only thing Byleth could do was force out an apology. She really was sorry. But just being sorry didn’t mean that she could stop. Even if this meant making Edelgard the smallest bit unhappy for the slightest amount of time, she couldn’t stop.

“Byleth? Please talk to me.”

The anger was gone, and the usual, kind, lovely Edelgard returned. If the angry Edelgard made her feel like she had done something awful, this kind Edelgard always helped her calm. This was the strong, trusting woman that she liked. The kindness that she had fallen for. That’s right. Edelgard would always love her. Always, always, always, always…

“I don’t want you to die.”

“I don’t intend to. What happened, Byleth?”

“...I don’t want you to die.”

Edelgard fell silent.

“I don’t want this. I don’t want you to become Emperor. I don’t want you to have to fight. I don’t care anymore, I just want us… to live a happy life.”

Edelgard did not respond.

That’s it, she had to be mad. So mad that she couldn’t talk. So unbelievably angry, at being told such an outrageous thing. Her gaze had long fallen to the ground, but slowly, she managed to pull herself upwards. Feigning any sort of confidence. But when their eyes locked, all Byleth could see was Edelgard’s usual, beautiful smile.

She seemed happy.

Did that mean…?

Edelgard stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around Byleth. Embracing her, so tight. Even nuzzling her cheek into Byleth’s. She couldn’t be like this if she were mad, right? Did that mean…

Did it really mean…

“Thank you. Your worries mean a lot to me.“

It had to! It had to mean it! Why else would she say something like that! That’s right! That meant they could just be safe and happy and safe and happy and safe and… happy…

“I can’t abandon my ideals. Not for anyone. Not even for you.”

Why? Wasn’t love supposed to be… unconditional, or something? Why would she say no. She couldn’t. She absolutely couldn’t.

“I’m willing to sacrifice anything, if it meant that I could lead Fódlan to a happy future. And in that future, I want you, by my side.”

“Please… give up. Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it! If you… if you do this… I can’t… please… who cares about some… stupid ideals… I want you safe...”

Their embrace ended. And Edelgard took a single step backwards.

“I won’t run away.” Edelgard’s voice grew sharper. She drew the axe that rested on her back, and let it blade-first on the ground beside her. Her hand rested on its grip. That was it. The pose that she took when she was about to strike down, with every inch of power left within her body. “I don’t want you to become another sacrifice. But if you force me to, I will.”

...Huh? Edelgard was okay with Byleth becoming a sacrifice? She was… bluffing, right? She was lying. Yeah. That’s it. Edelgard would never even consider that. Because they loved each other. Edelgard had even told her, that she ‘knew no happiness like the one in your arms’. It was a bluff. A ridiculous bluff. One that anyone could see through, with just as ridiculous ease!

“...I’m the Flame Emperor.”

...Huh?

That was another bluff, right? No, this was just a straight-up lie. It couldn’t be. The Flame Emperor was directly behind the death of her father. The Flame Emperor even directly caused Sothis’... disappearance! Sure, the Flame Emperor… apologized, after her father had been felled, but that didn’t mean it had to be Edelgard! Because why would it ever be Edelgard!

And that meant.

That absolutely, definitely meant.

That that couldn’t be her.

She was lying. Byleth knew it. Byleth was certain. Byleth had no doubt in her heart. No doubt in her mind. Edelgard was just trying to pressure her. But if she pushed forward just a little longer, she would definitely understand. Understand. Understand!

Please just understand!

Edelgard was just being her usual, tough self, right?

Right??

Yeah.

...so why couldn’t Byleth stop herself from drawing her sword?

Byleth didn’t want to fight Edelgard. She didn’t want to hurt Edelgard. She didn’t want to kill Edelgard. She loved Edelgard.

“Will you come with me?”

Byleth couldn’t bare to refuse with her words, so she just shook her head. Prompting nothing more than a sigh from Edelgard. Her hand twisted, and she readied her axe behind her. Was she pushing one final bluff?

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.”

A gutting moment of silence.

“I love you, Byleth.”

“I love you too, Edelgard.”

It came for her. From above. At her shoulder. At the side of her neck. As usual, Edelgard was slow. It was an attack Byleth had seen a million times. A strike that she, in training, had easily and effortlessly parried. All she needed to do was raise her sword up. Just the littlest bit. Just barely above her head. Edelgard always did this, and Byleth always responded in the same way. By catching the axe with her chained blades, and just effortlessly disarming her by ripping it straight out of her hands.

So why couldn’t she move?

Even as that axe drew closer, why couldn’t she move? It was going to hit her. It really was. It was going to cut her in half. It was going to effortlessly end her life. Just as she had done to so many others. But all she had to do is block it!

Byleth couldn’t. She couldn’t even budge an inch.

In the end, she never really could oppose Edelgard…

Byleth dropped her sword, and just let the axe hit. Everything faded into a deep crimson.

…

And as the light came to touch her again. As Byleth’s eyes opened again. All she could feel was water. As someone gently rescue her from her downstream journey.

“Are you okay?”

Was… Edelgard?


End file.
